| very well |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|03:06 pm] |
Master, bless.
My most precious ones,
today I am feeling that familiar, but more intense, post-publication shock.
It is caused by this:
Print $20.00
And now that the book is on its way to some of you, I am trembling a little. I feel so blessed, so grateful to God for the task He has given me (I can only echo St. Paul and say that I am not worthy of being called an apostle), and at the same time, when I gaze upon the book, I wonder whether my arrogance has poisoned the well, as it were. But the Lord can purify anything.
This morning, I was comforted by Meister Eckhart's words: "For however you are devoted to him, you may be sure that he is immeasurably more devoted to you and has incomparably more faith in you." And my heart did a little flip inside my chest...
In the book I say, most beloved, that you give birth to God in me, and that when I see you, I see God. I wrote that Harry gave birth to God in Snape, and that Snape gave birth to God in Harry. Love restores us all and gives us true sight. This is possible because Love joined itself to us, in the flesh...
I write because I want all to know the joy and peace I have known. C'est plus fort que moi.
I have lived without hope; and now, above all things I want to share hope, always. Sometimes, the message is difficult... Medicine often tastes bitter. I can tell you that I myself have drunk it, and that I am much better for it... Indeed the Lord has made sweet what was bitter. Now, despair is far from me...
Nothing can annihilate hope, whose roots are Love.
I shall share an excerpt from The flawed master to illustrate what I mean...
You know, a diamond at one time was a piece of coal. By unbelievable pressure this ugly piece of coal is turned into a diamond. It's sort of like our interior lives. A lot of us are inundated by pressures, all permitted by the Lord, intended to transform us into spiritual diamonds. He wants to make all of us new.183 (Mother Angelica)
Voldemort boasted that he had "crushed" Snape. Unbeknownst to the Dark Lord, he had actually contributed to Snape's sanctification. His actions added to the pressures that put certain choices before Snape, who then had to make a decision. Bit by bit, moment by moment, year by year, the metamorphosis took place, and during the battle that signaled Voldemort's ultimate defeat, Harry declared before all of Hogwarts that the Headmaster was a diamond.
Did those present suddenly remember a person who was not Snape? Did a pleasant man manifest himself in their minds? I doubt it. But they saw him in a new light...
Did you ever see a statue of a grouchy saint? I saw one once.
It was the most gorgeous statue I ever saw. It was Padre Pio, who was a grouch, you know. Now, everybody excuses the poor guy and says, "Well, he had the stigmata and he was suffering." Come off it. He was a grouch; he was a typical Italian grouch -which I can relate to! So I bought that statue in New Orleans a few years ago. He had the most beautiful, grumpy look on his face. See, that's my kind of saint. I want a saint who struggles like I do. There's no such thing as perfection. There is only the struggle for holiness.184 (Mother Angelica)
When each one of us is confronted by his or her "inner Snape," what we must say to Love is "Very well."
Oh, but we want to be safe, we want to be successful, we want to have assurance. That's the world. Look closely at the apostles and see them for the dodos that they are. They had big personalities and bigger tempers. They were jealous of one another. Peter's psychological profile is so bad you would not elect this man dogcatcher. Imagine a leader who panics in a crisis. But God knows that His grace is at its best in our weakness.185 (Mother Angelica)
If we are to know peace, if we are to taste love, if we are to be healed, we must accept, like Professor Snape had to and did, to take the risk of embracing our humanity. We must leave behind the imaginary ideas we have about ourselves. Holiness is not inaccessible; it is living our true life.
Holiness is bowing before the many ways we disappoint ourselves and others, and not giving up: holiness is hope founded upon love.
So it is that I write. I do not give up. I believe that God can mold me. I trust Him. What shall I do when He says, "You give them something to eat"? Shall I put the two pieces of bread back in the basket and walk away, because I do not believe two measly pieces of bread can do much good?
No. I shall watch Him bless the bread and then do as He asks.
Your devoted
Logospilgrim, the quiet professor |
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